Christmas checklist – Christmas crackers

Christmas lunch isn’t complete unless everyone is sitting around wearing stupid paper hats and grumbling about the fact they are wearing stupid paper hats (except Mum, because she loves it!). While we’re at it, why is it that the only photos I ever seem to have from Christmas day are my family with these hats on? Never any nice ones sans hat, but plenty of stupid poses. Let’s try and rectify that this year.

Last thing on the checklist is Christmas crackers. I’m sure we aren’t the only family where you sit down to lunch, crack the cracker, put the hat on and then read the lame jokes and roll your eyes at how lame they are because you’re cool like that, even though secretly you chuckle because you love a good pun. Yep, can I get an amen, sista!

The crackers I bought are Tom Smith Christmas Crackers and, according to their website, are the first line in luxury when it comes to snap, crackle and pop (my words, not theirs – but they are welcome to use that snappy line if they like). That said, I bought them at Target so I’m not sure just how luxurious you would classify that. The box seems to indicate they have some pretty rad novelties in them, so I cracked one to see just how accurate that was (I bought a box of 12 and I’m only having 7 for lunch, so I was allowed). Hat? Tick. Lame joke? Tick. Novelty – it was a mini periscope. I wouldn’t re-gift it, but definitely one of the better quality cracker novelties I have had in my time. I will admit I played with it for a good 3 minutes.

And the joke? Q. What should a prizefighter drink? A. Punch. Don’t tell me you didn’t just laugh.

My suggestion for Target: it appears Tom Smith do Disney crackers. I would be most appreciative if they could hook those up next year. Cheers.

Price: $29.95 (although I got them on sale for $19.95)
From: Target
Why you need them: Silly hats, ahoy!

Now that I have my wrapping paper, decorations, crackers and all my presents wrapped up under my bookshelf-pretending-to-be-a-tree, it’s on to the food. I won’t bore you with the details, but I bought my pork and my turkey from Thomas Dux Grocer on Crown St Surry Hills. I feel so grown up.

Picture credit:; polaroided by

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