Got big cans?

Because I have big cans. Great, heaving masses of flesh that get in the way a lot. I can’t wear anything strapless, dainty or delicate because they just get swamped by my enormous girth. Gravity is not my friend. Swimsuits are not my friend. Shopping at Myer/DJs/BnT…also not my friend. Which is why I had to seek out alternative methods of purchasing boulder-holders. Cue Storm In A D-Cup.

I can’t even remember how I first stumbled upon this website. I might have read about it somewhere, or I might have been googling, I’m not sure. Either way, I was glad I got there. There is a nice range of pretty and feminine bras for those of us who are ‘endowed’ (I HATE this word) and the customer service is really great. If something is being ordered from overseas, you get update emails. They don’t charge you until you receive everything that you ordered. They accept returns. They do fittings if you can make it to their Bondi location. All in all, they help make what is normally a terribly traumatic experience, pleasant.

My most recent purchase was an Impact Free by Royce, which is a very scary looking sports bra. I try to get to the gym a couple of times a week, but it’s always low impact because I don’t “do” running and jumping. I’m afraid that if I run: a) I’ll hit myself in the eye and b) gravity will finally win and I will literally have nipples at my knees. So I ordered myself one of these snazzy looking contraptions and so far I am enjoying my ‘female jockey tested’ impact free experience. Granted, it is for low to medium impact (so still no running or jumping, but truly I’m ok with that) and for a sports bra it is surprisingly comfortable. It has a wide, padded band around the bottom and padding in the shoulders, plus a super heavy duty 3 hook clip at the back, which you cover by velcro. Velcro on my bra! It might take a while to receive it if they don’t have it in stock, but it’s worth the wait. They range in sizes from 10D – 16J. Yes, that’s right, J. And I thought I had it bad! Imagine trying to exercise with those mams.

Price: $89.95
From: Storm in a D Cup
Why you need it: So you can exercise without causing you, your cans, or anyone nearby, major damage.

PS – that’s totally not me in the picture. I have the good sense to tie my hair back when I exercise!

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